Matthew is two months today. This will be one of those scattered thoughts kind of posts just because I want to try to capture my thoughts and feelings at the time. A few weeks after one of those middle of night feedings I got hit with this wave of feelings. Of course I cared for Matthew deeply from the first moment I held him when he was 15 days old and even the 1st time I knew he might possibly be our son at 6 days old he filled my prayers. This was the feeling, the bond, that I can't imagine our family without him. I suddenly realized how his weight, smell, and little gestures are all known to me and so special. Almost immediately following came the feelings of sadness for not being able to protect him before he was born, for his birth mom's never being able to experience this, and how her impossible situation made this possible for me. And also I grieved that I never experienced this time with Teresa. She was born at almost the same gestation as Matthew, just a bit bigger, spent time in NICU, and was about his age now when she was in foster care the 1st time. We weren't foster parents then. In fact we realized recently that a newspaper article that was published several months later that was one of the factors that caused us to persue foster parenting actually mentioned her original time in foster care.
Friday, January 6, 2012
1 - First goal of the year is to keep to our budget, especially the food budget. I'll be trying to do all cash to help with this.
2 -Second goal is to average losing a 1/2 lb a week and exercise an average of 1 hr per week. I'm just plain old counting calories trying for something in the 1600-2000 calorie range. I did 2000 this week and lost 5lbs but I would say that was because I managed to gain 7.5 lbs in the prior 2 weeks. The average exercise is because right now with even mild January weather walking outdoors isn't really possible and with a new baby and little sleep exercise is not likely to happen the next several weeks but come spring I plan to do the 5K trail with the lovely stroller my brother gave to Matthew.
3 - Read a "good" book each month. Conversion Diary Jen's link to the Register post will help with this. No Amish romances or other harlequin type books count.
4 - Do something every day with Teresa. This sounds odd as a stay at home mom but this is one on one time--reading, playing a board game, and her new favorite coloring with her. Homeschooling does not count.
5 - Quarterly dates with Andrea and my David. Andrea loves to go out to lunch and shop or garage sale and I need to make it more regular. My dear husband and I would love for this to be at least monthly but the expense and trouble of a sitter an outside date quarterly is a good goal.
6 - Add at least one spiritual activity per month. I've become very lax with any regular prayer. Things like doing a daily Angelus, or reading the gospel, or doing a weekly rosary. I'm sure I will come up with 12 things. Right now I'm working on doing a Morning Offering.
7 - Last but certainly not least enjoy this baby year with Matthew. I'm 45 and he will be our last and I know as much as possible I want savor every moment.
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!